Nothing You Deserve
by RainingStarWars
Summary: Luke's been through a lot over the past few years, and he's lost far more and hurt far more than anyone his age should. During the Endor party, Han and Leia go to assure their friend of something he truly needs to know. That Luke Skywalker is never alone.


"Han, have you seen Luke?" Leia asked, approaching the Corellian as he laughed with Lando. Luke had disappeared from the celebration over the downfall of the Empire earlier, and his sister had been unable to find him for quite some time. She was growing concerned for the man, so she chose to seek out their smuggler friend for help.

Han excused himself before turning to face the woman he so dearly loved. "What was that, sweetheart?" he asked, wrapping an arm over the princess's shoulders and leading her away from the noise of the party. They stepped around cheerful Ewoks and pushed through joyous Rebels. So many happy beings celebrating together was truly a beautiful sight.

They stopped walking just on the outskirts of the celebration, and Han allowed Leia to repeat her question. "I asked if you had seen Luke." she said anxiously, rubbing her sleeves, "I haven't seen him in quite a while." Now it was Han's turn to grow concerned. He frowned, scratching his head as he glanced around the forests of Endor, then looked back to Leia.

Han shook his head wearily. "I don't know where the kid coulda run off to," he replied, "But we better find him before he gets lost or somethin'. Can't he just not separate from us for once?" Han mumbled the last sentence. Leia nodded in agreement, and the two headed out to scan the area for their friend. They walked all around the forest area surrounding the Ewok village, searching for a little bit.

Eventually, they did find Luke. He was sitting alone on a large log, hood covering his face and arms wrapped around his knees. Han and Leia approached him slowly, careful not to startle him. "Luke?" Leia called softly, stepping over small plants and shrubs as the grass crunched beneath her feet. Han followed close behind. Luke looked up at the two, his expression shadowed by his hood.

The young Jedi did not respond to his sister, he only stared a moment before removing his hood. In the moonlight, Han and Leia could see the glint of moisture in their friend's eyes, and the trembling of his gloved hands. Leia strolled over, sitting down beside Luke and placing a hand on his shoulder worriedly. Han did the same, sitting down beside his friends on the old log.

"What's wrong, kid?" the smuggler asked, trying to make out Luke's expression in the night. The blond shook his head, looking down so he didn't have to face his friends. Short locks of hair fell over his face, hiding the misty blue eyes that so desperately seemed to call out for help, even if his lips spoke otherwise.

"Nothing is wrong." Luke said quietly, his voice hoarse. It definitely seemed as if he had been crying. "I am alright..." Han and Leia both knew better, though. They could read the young man like an open book, and it was clear he was not being truthful. Leia sighed, causing Han and Luke to look at her.

"You know, Luke, you are a very bad liar." she shook her head at him. Han gave a small, crooked smile in agreement, but it quickly turned back into a frown when Luke did not smile in return. Leia squeezed her brother's shoulder. "Luke, please tell us what is wrong." she begged him. Luke sighed.

"It's my hand." he said quickly. "I'm... I'm not used to it yet, and it's bothering me." Han raised an eyebrow, suddenly confused.

"Your hand?" he said, startled. The twins sitting next to him both froze, sharing nervous looks. They both turned to Han, confusing the smuggler even more. "What's wrong with your hand?" he asked, suddenly worried. Luke turned to Leia, raising his eyebrows to ask the question she already knew. _You never told him?_

Leia shook her head. The young Jedi beside her sighed through clenched teeth, turning to face Han sadly. He looked down, memories seeming to flash across his eyes. Han listened to his friend with concern. "After they froze you in carbonite, I left my training to confront Vader." he began. Han already dreaded what was to come. "I fought with him on Cloud City. Leia already told you that Anakin Skywalker was my father, but... During our fight, Vader... He... He cut off my hand."

Luke pulled off the black glove covering his hand, only to reveal a blaster wound on the back. However, instead of blood and flesh, there were only wires and machinery; complicated parts working together to form something that could not so easily be replaced. His own hand. It was gone... Han could only stare in horror, gaping at the artificial limb speechless.

He reached out his own hand, looking up at Luke as if to ask for permission. Luke nodded, placing his mechanical hand in Han's real one. Han examined it, moving the fingers to see if they opened and closed like real ones would, then he flipped it over to the palm, staring at the lines in the fake skin that was so much like real skin, yet so unlike it as well. Finally, he traced the wound with his finger, feeling the cold metal and wires underneath.

There was no warmth to this fake hand like there would be in a real one. It was only cold and lifeless. Han frowned, releasing his grip on Luke's wrist. "I'm sorry, Luke." was all he could say to comfort his friend. Luke smiled sadly, shaking his head that it was alright. He cradled the artificial hand with his real arm, staring at it in a way that showed he despised it. Why wouldn't he? It wasn't really his, after all.

A silence fell upon the three, the only noise being the sounds of celebration from the party nearby. They sat together like that for a few minutes, left alone with each of their thoughts. They were all thinking about the same thing, however. Why Luke was so upset. While Han and Leia wondered this, even Luke was contemplating all the reasons in his head. One thing was certain, though. Luke was not only hurting over his hand.

Eventually, Leia turned to face her brother, and Luke looked up at her with the same faraway look in his eyes. She took his hand (his real one) and held it in her own. "That can't be the only reason you're so unhappy." she confirmed, "Tell us, Luke, what else is the matter?" Luke looked away, but was only met by Han's concerned eyes. He couldn't seem to escape his friend's worried faces.

The young Jedi sighed, realizing there was no way he could leave this spot without telling Han and Leia what was wrong. He might as well confess... "Everything." was all he could whisper. Han and Leia glanced at each other worriedly.

"What does everything consist of?" Han asked, watching the blond. Luke was silent for a moment, staring down as he pulled his black glove back on his fake hand, wishing to look upon the wound no more. Everything was hard to explain. Most people would understand if a normal person said everything was wrong, because a normal person's life is easy to predict. However, being a Skywalker kept Luke's life from being as far from normal as things could get.

"It's just..." he whispered, "I was always proud to be a Skywalker. I was proud of who I was. Then I found out Vader was my father... I know Anakin was not responsible for the things he did, but... It's still hard to take in, you know? That your bloodline was responsible for the death of so many innocent people. Then, I have to wonder, what if I fall to the dark side just as my father did?"

"You won't." Leia and Han said in unison, both of their voices firm. Luke shook his head.

"You don't know that." he spoke softly, staring at the ground again. Leia touched his shoulder again.

"Yes, we do. You won't fall to the dark side, Luke." she confirmed, and Han nodded in agreement.

"Your sister's right, kid." he added. Luke didn't say anything, fiddling with his glove again. After a few moments, Han and Leia saw his eyes glisten with tears. The young Jedi tried to blink them away, but instead caused a single tear to roll down his cheek. He breathed shakily.

"O-Okay," he stuttered, clenching his teeth. "Well, it's still my fault that my a-aunt and uncle... They died because of me. I-I wasn't there to protect them." Luke picked up a small stick, poking it at the dirt for something to do. Han and Leia watched him sadly. "Then, I couldn't save Obi-Wan, or Biggs, or anyone else. They tortured you two to get to me, and they froze you in carbonite, Han. Now, they expect me to rebuild the Jedi Order! I'm just a farm boy from Tatooine... I.. I don't think I can do it."

Luke sighed, continuing. "I've lost everyone, and I don't want to lose you two. Perhaps I deserve this suffering. Maybe I deserve to.. t-to..." he stopped, his shoulders beginning to shake. Luke's lip trembled as he tried to speak, but no more words would come out. All he could do let out a miserable sob as tears spilled from his eyes like a waterfall.

"Luke..." Leia whispered.

"Kid..." Han said at the same time. Luke covered his face with his hands, wishing for no one to see him cry. However, it was too late for that. Han and Leia both embraced their dear friend, holding him close from both sides and taking each of his hands in their own. Luke continued to weep as they sat there, and his friends were on the verge of tears as well.

"Please don't think this is your fault, Luke. Nothing is your fault. The things that have happened to you should not have." Leia began to cry, still holding onto her brother. Han sniffed as well. As much as he hated the thought, he was going to cry as well.

"She's right, kid." the Corellian comforted, squeezing Luke's hand as his voice cracked with emotion. "All of this... It's nothin' you deserve. You never did anything to deserve losin' the people you care about, and.. I'm sorry you lost them, but you won't lose us. Ever." Luke laughed slightly. A relieved laugh. How did he get so lucky to have friends like these?

They stayed like that for a while. Huddled together as a family. Slowly, Luke's miserable thoughts faded into happy ones. Joy that the war was over, joy that he had Han and Leia, joy that things were going to be okay. The past was in the past, and it would do no good to dwell on things that he could not control. The future was just within a hands reach, and if Luke would be conquering it with Han and Leia by his side, then who could stop him?

Eventually, the young Jedi sat up straight, wiping the tears from his eyes and pulling from his friends' grip. He felt much better with the knowledge that he was so dearly loved by Han and Leia. When he looked at both of them again, the blond couldn't help reaching out and hugging them both. They laughed, hugging him back.

"Well," Han said after they had hugged all they could, "It's about time we head back and celebrate for a change, don't ya say?" Luke and Leia smiled, standing to their feet. They nodded as Han did the same. The friends headed back to the party, arms wrapped around each other just as they had been the day of the first Death Star's destruction. They walked together as friends.

They walked together as family.


End file.
